Brad Otts in a nutshell: 7 on the Enneagram, tattoos, self-deprecation, sass.
And for Brad Otts in his purest form, proceed (with caution) below:
Q: What did you think about CrossFit before you started doing it, and why did you decide to get into it?
A: I was originally introduced to “Crossfit” via my Father-in-law (also known as the greatest human in existence) Michael Vasko about 7 or so years ago. I didn’t know much about it, but knew that I personally was very athletic, formidably successful at all athletic endeavors I participated in, and confident in my ability to eventually master all aspects of it. After starting, I learned that there were some movements that would take longer for me to master, mostly mobility issues involving my wrists, hips, arms legs, back, neck, chest, feet, head, and general body area, but as previously stated, I was confident my raw natural abilities, so I proceeded.
Q: What is the worst nickname you’ve ever had and explain the meaning behind it.
A: Well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it a nickname per se, rather it’s my initials. My first name is Bradley, that first initial being the letter “B”. My middle name is Joseph, that first initial being “J”. My last name is Otts, that first initial being the letter “O”. As such, no matter which way my given name was presented in abbreviated initialized form… I was a moving target.
“BJ” —- you can do the math.
“BO” — yea… strike 2.
Needless to say, that is how I grew a thick skin and mastered yet another aspect of life. Self deprecation.
Q: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
A: Honestly though, aren’t we all animals in some way? Somewhere deep inside all of us is this deep natural instinct similar to that of a primitive beast. Be it predator or prey, we all find ourselves connecting with that deep naturalistic emotion. Also, I might be part dolphin. Intelligent, high communicative, wickedly fast in salt water and the key character in an award winning documentary on illegal fishing in Southeast Asia.
Q: What is the most ridiculous thing you did as a college student?
A: The details of my life are quite inconsequential… but very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was an 18-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons, and in the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds… pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe and by the time I was attending university I had a lifetime of living already done. By the age 22, I had climbed to the top of the MSC building at Texas A&M University only sit quietly reading 13th Century Jordanian literature. So really… given my level of life experience, the most ridiculous thing I did in college was start this so-called “formal” education.
Q: What is your proudest accomplishment in life and why?
A: Despite what you might think by this point, I am actually not a complete and utter lunatic… I do have some normalcy to me. I can easily say that the proudest accomplishment of my life is perhaps not necessarily an accomplishment in one single moment, rather a continual accomplishment. This would be that somehow through the the divine mystery of our Creator and the daily patience of my Jersey Girl, that I have been able to convince my wife to stay married to me, despite meeting her online, only knowing her for 4 months, and being a general horse’s ass for the first 75% of our marriage.
I have also had the honor of being a father to 3 wonderful children, 2 of these beautiful young seedlings I helped make (which will be explained in my 1 week Crossfit Renew sponsored speaking series entitled “When a mommy loves a daddy: A Life Explained” – by Brad Otts). The opportunity to be a husband and a father has been the single most humbling experience in my life and that’s saying a lot as we all remember that STUPID WOD where we walked around the entire parking lot doing barbell walking lunges. That said, I am a man of many blessings, more than I deserve, but I would say that being given the opportunity to breathe another day and love my family has been my greatest accomplishment.
He will help you move, he will give you life advice, he will tell you jokes, he will send you podcasts, and he is a killer cook and Green Acres aficionado. Next time you see him, ask him to guess what number Enneagram you are and get to know each other on a philosophical level.
You rock, Brad!